“There is no mind over matter. The mind is matter. You don’t get over an illness by not talking about it. It isn’t weak to ask for help. It isn’t weak to want to survive. It isn’t a character flaw to experience bad things.” Mental health problems can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, race or social background. Despite this, however, studies have shown that certain mental illnesses affect men and women differently. And the way both genders cope with mental health issues or ask support is different. Nearly 1 in 10 men experience depression and anxiety: According to a poll of 21,000 American men by researchers at the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), nearly one in ten men reported experiencing some form of depression or anxiety, but less than half sought treatment. On average, however, more women are diagnosed with common mental health problems than men; the most worrying finding is that the rate of male suicide is significantly higher. This suggests that men are suffering from mental distress, but may not be receiving (or indeed asking for) the help they need. What makes them not ask for help? Societal expectations and traditional gender roles play a role in why men are less likely to discuss or seek help for their mental health problems. We know that gender stereotypes about women – the idea they should behave or look a certain way, for example – can be damaging to them. But it’s important to understand that men can be damaged by stereotypes and expectations too. Men are often expected to be the breadwinners and to be strong, dominant and in control. While these aren’t inherently bad things, they can make it harder for men to reach out for help and open up. Some research also suggests that men who can’t speak openly about their emotions may be less able to recognise symptoms of mental health problems in themselves, and less likely to reach out for support. Men may also be more likely to use potentially harmful coping methods such as drugs or alcohol and less likely to talk to family or friends about their mental health. However, there is research to suggest that men will access help when they feel it meets their preferences and is easily accessed, meaningful, and engaging. How can they be helped? If you’re concerned about a friend, you can help them by- Letting them know you’re there to listen to them without judgement. try to keep in touch because someone who is experiencing mental health problems may find it hard to reach out. If you think they need support, Psyche Vitality has experts who can help them. Help them to get help. Reassure them it’s okay to ask for help, and that support is out there.

There will be days in your daughter's life when she will feel, inadequate, unloved and unworthy.... For those kind of Days... do her upbringing in a way that... She remembers... 'whose daughter' she is and she pull her chin up and straighten her crown Are you blessed with girl children? If yes, you are greatly fortunate! In Islam, there are hadiths of the Prophet (s.a.w.) peace and blessing be upon him) about raising girls which are beautiful and amazing. Girl children come with great rewards and blessings. If you offer care, love, support and education to your girl child, Paradise awaits you. Reference to few Hadiths - https://aboutislam.net/shariah/hadith/hadith-collections/5-hadiths-girl-children/ At a time when baby girls were deemed a source of shame, even buried alive, the Prophet came to rectify this grave wrong. He fought the infamous practices prevalent at the time: girl abuse, humiliation and infanticide. Even today, his words are still relevant and much needed. If we talk about current state of women and girls it's no less bad then it was earlier... Still giving birth to a girl is thought of as a huge responsibility and burden.... The time a girl is born, parents are now and then gifted with comments which are detrimental to parents' well-being as well as to the girl child's while she is growing up. Still, many parents do their girl's upbringing in a way that she can grow up to be an adequate housewife, who takes care of her husband and family. Just not in Islam, in most of the religion the women's role has been more about house hold, giving birth and taking care of people in her family. Generations by generations women's are being told what their roles are and what they should do and not do... that their home is their husband's house... and that they should have patience and else they will be called bitches if they don't adhere these societal rules... The psyche of our society runs on this! On this in-secure; scared consciousness I am not a feminist, neither I am anti- feminist. All, I say is what a person wants out of her life cannot be defined by others. If the creator would have wanted things like this, why he would have made every single person on this earth different including males? And, instead of feeding insecurity to your girl's mind. Grow her up in a way that she understands what is right and wrong. Give her the capability and power of discriminating between what is not good for her. Provide her a cushion where she can fall back if things go wrong. Don't take away that cushion from her life by disowning her or demeaning her, if things doesn't works out the way you thought will do in her life! Provide her that confidence that she is no less than any other male out there.... Being a father to a girl is not easy, she becomes the targets of others who wants to hurt you... because she is the heart of your life. A daughter knows how much you love her... and that is why you put those restrictions sometimes.... to save her because the world is really bad out there... Don't hide her just because of your insecurities, to save her from those vultures out there! Instead make her capable of seeing those red alarms and give her the strength to win her own battles. With an aim that even if she looses; she has you as the anchor to her life.... But, love doesn't means to make someone weak, either be that person's strength. Being a daughter's father; is a brave thing.... She will make mistakes... She will have bad days.... But she will always have your parenting as her strength...

#Metoo Too many of us can relate. Me too. If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. Everyone who is on social media must be aware of the #metoo hashtag, which sparked an online campaign about sexual harassment and abuse. According to the analysis by data scientists at PRCO Studio , around 3.6 billion people interacted with tweets using the trending hashtag and over 5 billion people saw the tweets. The total population included approximately 69.9 percent females and 30.1 percent males. Which clearly shows that men also face similar assaults. Men were seen responding with captions like — “REAL MEN ARE FEMINISTS!” and the hashtag #HowIWillChange. The trending hashtag made us realize how common and major the problem is. The many people you would have seen as happy, strong individuals are sharing their stories, and how they have healed. On the other side, there are people who are still unhealed, or who don’t have enough courage to speak up. Whichever side you’re on, the burden of going through sexual assault is the same. It can lead to low self-esteem, low self-confidence, trust issues, post-traumatic stress, depression and many more psychological, mental and physical symptoms. But there are ways we can help each other to get through this. Here are seven things we can do to help someone who has experienced sexual assault or any kind of inhuman behavior. No Judgement Or Labeling We live in a society where if sexual assault occurs, we are inclined to judge the victim and what they could have done wrong, and label them with unkind names — as opposed to blaming the actual wrongdoer — the abuser. Just listening to an assault survivor can help with their pain or suffering. Encourage Conversation, But Do Not Push. If you know someone is going through the emotional pain of sexual assault, try to initiate conversation with them, this will help them talk about it. Be Empathetic. While listening, try to understand the severity of suffering from her/his point of view. Patience and support can help the survivor to recover fast. Keep Things Confidential. If a survivor wants you to keep things private, then make sure you don’t let them down. Gossiping or sharing it with someone without their consent could shake their ability to trust others. It’s their right to heal themselves first and gain back their strength to talk about it with others. It’s their story to tell — or not — if they so choose. Be There. If it’s someone very close to you who needs help, be there regardless of excuses, rejection, defensiveness or denial. It is not their fault. When a person survives sexual assault, most of the time they end up feeling guilty, thinking it was their own fault.  Reassure them that it was not their fault. Help Them To Rebuild Themselves. A survivor, in most cases, starts socially excluding themselves. Help them to come out of that zone. Encourage Professional Help. Take them to a counselor or psychologist, because a professional can help them to recover more efficiently by healing the trauma. Don’t take your power for granted. One person can make a difference – even if it’s just in one other person’s life.

As we know raising a child is not an easy task. When we become parents we realize inculcating a sense of discipline in our kids needs a lot of hard work and maturity. As a parent we can not be lenient with our children all the time but that does not means that we need to be harsh or punish them. There are certain ways which can help parents to discipline their kids without fading the sweetness of their relationship. These techniques are called Positive Discipline Techniques , which means we need to give more importance to their positive behavior than negative ones. These techniques could help them to be more aware about their actions and how it could affect them. It can teach them to control their emotions and generate a sense of worthiness of their actions turning them to be more social and disciplined. So the techniques which every parents should follow- 1. It is always a behavior which is wrong not a person- if your child harms other child by pulling or hitting then rather than saying “ you are a naughty kid” you should ask him/her to apologize for its behavior and promise not to repeat it as he/she is a good person. 2.Offer choices- Giving choices to your young ones could give them a sense of ownership of their actions. For example, You want to read a book and then take a bath or take bath first then read book. This could also be done to introduce good eating habits like you can give choices between two green vegetables . 3.Learning from mistakes and facing consequences- If your child has refused to listen you and still misbehaving you can make him/her face its consequences by talking away the privilege of him/her going out with friends or stopping them to watch their favorite tv shows . 4.Rewarding good behavior- Reward them whenever they do something good, this can encourage your child to keep behaving in that manner. But parents must understand that there is a thin line between rewarding and bribing, bribing could make your child manipulative. 5. Teaching empathy- Empathy helps children to understand the feelings of others too. For example, If your child snatches other kid’s toys or teases other kids then you must ask them to remember when something similar happened to him/her and how bad it felt. 6.Teaching social skill- It is always parents responsibility to teach them how to behave in society. For example, Instead of just saying “Do not do this” you must tell them “what to do”. 7.Create a calm corner- There should be a place where a child could vent out its emotions and can introspect its behavior whenever he/she has misbehaved or gone into a fight this will help him to calm down and realize its mistake. Kids can be rigid and parents could find it difficult but they need to be determined and consistent, soon many good changes could be seen in their kids.

Which is the dominant side of personality? Are you a person who gets carried away with anything which catches your attention? If you want something, then you want it by hook or crook? No matter what, but you need to satisfy your needs immediately. Then you are a person driven by ID . An individual with an extremely dominant id, for example, might become impulsive, uncontrollable, or even criminal. This individual acts upon his or her most basic urges with no concern for whether the behavior is appropriate, acceptable, or legal. Id is said to be the matrix ground for the other two parts of personality . It works on immediate gratification of needs. The stubborn child within all of us. Are you a person who thinks and act? Who although believes in satisfying his needs, but in a just way? Who understands that people have needs and desires and that sometimes being impulsive or selfish can hurt us in the long run! Then you are driven by EGO An excessively dominant ego can also result in problems. An individual with this type of personality might be so tied to reality, rules, and appropriateness that they are unable to engage in any type of spontaneous or unexpected behavior. This individual may seem very concrete and rigid, incapable of accepting change and lacking an internal sense of right from wrong. It’s the ego’s job to meet the needs of the id while taking into consideration the reality of the situation.Ego operates as a medium of balance between id and superego. It works on the principle of reality. Are you a person who has a strong sense of moral and ethical restraints placed on you by your caregivers? Whose thoughts always dictates his belief of right and wrong? Always working with his conscience? Then you have a strong SUPEREGO An overly dominant superego, on the other hand, might lead to a personality that is extremely moralistic and possibly judgmental. This person may be very unable to accept anything or anyone that he or she perceives as “bad” or “immoral.” Superego is the part which holds the moral values, which a person learned from family and society. Which may sometimes lead to feelings of guilt and other time to proud because of the conflict with ID. A person who is emotionally and psychologically healthy has a balance between the three aspects of personality. So which part of the personality drives you?

The Japanese says you have three faces! The first face you show to the world! The second face you show to your family and close friends! The third face, you never show anyone. It's the truest reflection of who you are! Is the society we all are living in adding to our well-being or it's just subjugating it? Society was formed for our good, and personally as a social being, I believe that Society is from us, for us ! Instead of letting it change ourselves for a bad end result, we should change it for our own good and good of others. As a practicing psychologist, on daily basis I come across cases where I encounter clear negative impact of society. How it is ruining and turning people into mentally unfit beings. There are people who have been effected to an extent that they are scared of taking their own decisions in life; or doing things they once loved to do and have stopped being themselves! Some of the major effects and outcomes of negative social impact are: Indecisiveness : because of the high cultural values and expectations, people are always indecisive about their vision and plans. They are constantly struggling with if they do this will it be right! Will others approve it! People are always seeking approval for their behavior and this in turn bottles up a lot of frustration which in future results into anger, anxiety and low self-worth. To save oneself from getting into all this, learn to choose what you think is right, learn being decisive! Low self-esteem - is a bi-product of external pressures. When a person is suffering from low self esteem thoughts like- "I must not make a mistake," "I must be perfect", I can't do it", "I am not worthy", "I am not good enough", or "Nobody Loves me" keeps them threatening on daily basis . Instead of letting this pressurize you, attitude should be "I can do it now and always" ! No out of box thinking- since birth we are taught so much about what is right and wrong that we are afraid to choose and think outside that definition of right and wrong. This kills our ability to see things differently and from a broader perspective. Want to improve this? Unlearn what you have learned. Low goal accomplishments- Because we have been conditioned to think and act in a particular way, which interferes in our creative thinking and thus results in low goal accomplishments. Now question arises: how to concur it? The solution is start to uncondition yourself. Make your own rules. Poor interpersonal relationships- due to our limited perception of how a relationship should be, we start to satisfy our ego by imposing our idea of an ideal relationship on other person; whether it be our sons and daughters; siblings; or our loved ones. We have to learn to keep that space which will help ourselves and the other person to breathe and choose what is important for them on their own. Depression : when we cannot rise up from the shackles of societal pressure of how an ideal life should be; we start feeling depressed because what we really want is not going to happen due to those boundaries and barriers. And somehow it keeps killing us from within. All we have to do is start filling the gap between that first face and third face by truly being ourselves and believing in ourselves. Because at the end all that matters is YOU!

'Hate Never Disappears. It Just Takes a Break for a While.' Holocaust Memorial Day Trust (HMDT) encourages remembrance in a world scarred by genocide. To remember the six million Jews murdered during the Holocaust alongside the millions of other people killed under Nazi Persecution. The Holocaust threatened the fabric of civilisation, and genocide must still be resisted every day. Our world often feels fragile and vulnerable and we cannot be complacent. Even in the present times, prejudice and the language of hatred must be challenged by us all. Not on just one day of year, but any point of time, when such hatred starts to increase, we should come together to create a safe environment. We have curated interesting list of books to read for those who are interested in knowing more about it. To know the story of survivors and their experiences of holocaust, this is a list of books to add to your reading list: Friedman's G The seven, the family holocaust Living among the dead: A. Bernstean Maus by Art Spiegelman An Underground Life: Memoirs of a Gay Jew in Nazi Berlin by Gad Beck A scrapbook of time and other stories by Ida Frink The Journal of Helene Berr by Helene Berr Doctors from Hell: The Horrific Account of Nazi Experiments on Humans By Vivien Spitz For those who are not the book lovers.... for them we have created a list of articles available to read: ' So it won't be forgotten:' Children of Jacksonville-area Holocaust survivors tell their families' stories Vancouver filmmaker revisits his grandmother story of surviving holocaust Remembering the foreign diplomats who saved Jews during the holocaust Those who would like to receive the books mentioned above can subscribe to the event . This HMD lets work towards making this world a better place, by remembering those whom this world lost and learning from the mistakes of others. So that the world doesn't sees another holocaust. Because the holocaust didn't began with killing, it began with Words...

On October 17th, like every year at AMU, it would be celebrated like a festival because it's Sir Syed Day. During those times.... While I was in University.... I read this ... The last message of Our Founder Sir Syed Ahmed Khan I joined AMU, in 2014 department of Psychology for my Doctorate program. It was a mixed experience being there. A completely new world to me.... I saw politics among heads and supervisors.... a race for positions.... and power.. ... but it was something I felt which has deviated an educational institution of such high reputation from it's role.... From it's vision If someone would have asked me to categories what I experienced there at that time, then I at once would have categorized it into this way- because then the world was for me just - #BLACK or #WHIT E # internal vs #external # administration vs #studen t # senior vs #junior #good vs #wrong And now as it's said that wisdom comes with age.... I can understand that what it meant and now I can really relate to it. I learned that world is not Black or White; actually it's Grey..... I really feel proud of being an Alig..... because it made me tough.... It taught me how to handle pressure..... it helped me to work towards my aim an vision in life..... Because I learned it from there.... that no matter what stay true with your principles, values.... and vision.... Think about others.... work for betterment of this society..... there will be all sorts of grey experiences.... But only to make you more tough and determined to complete your purpose of life.... My advice to all of you is: Do only that which you believed (to be right) and do not do anything in (the rightness of) which you do not believe. This is real truthfulness and this is the thing on which the bliss of both world depends” – Sir Syed Ahmed Khan, Mirzapur, Nov 8 1873 Happy Sir Syed Day Aligs..... Work towards taking the vision of Sir Syed Ahmed khan forward..... Jo abr yahan se uthega, wo saare jahan par barsega Har joo-e-rawan par barsega, har koh-e-garan par barsega Har sard-o-saman par barsega, har dasht-o-daman par barsega Khud apne chaman par barsega, ghairon ke chaman par barsega

It's been 4 months and 1 week, since the Corona virus breakout started. Approximately 12,63,976 diagnosed cases all over the world! Out of which 2,59,384 recovered and a total of 69,082 people we have lost in the pandemic. It feels like everything has stopped, and the government is trying its best to help save the lives of people. India is home to approximately 1,387,297,452 people and we hold second position as the most populous Country in the whole world. During this lockdown, we all read various statements and news where people (including maulanas, ministers, and religious leaders, news channels) are talking things which makes no sense. Which bring me to a question are they really fit to be a leader of any kind? They need to learn to be human first. In this time of uncertainty and fear. Where many people are away from their loved ones. Many doctors and policemen are not coming home just to avoid infecting their families. Many have lost their loved ones and we're not even able to do the last rituals. Stop being so selfish. For once in your life think about others. For once in your life follow what is actually told in religion. To rise above oneself. To serve the humanity. From those Shaheen bagh ladies to jamaties, then from news channels to opposition leaders... Do you people even know what we have on our doors? Italy, UK, Canada are the countries which are developed, still they are crying and unable to do anything for their people. The other countries of the world are trying to be human. But, what some people in India are trying to be? Do you think calling the virus an azab for non muslim brothers or sisters is something which will take you to Jannah. Trust me it's not! Or calling it a curse on muslims will give you moksha... No It will not! It's a wake up call to rise above oneself! To think of others. We have already lost so much with the heavy emotion of hate! Lighten up. We all are here as visitors. We own nothing. So, think about leaving good marks not something which your future generations will hate you and curse you for. Help the government in helping you. By following what is said. By staying home. By not being the part of chain. Instead By breaking the chain.