One of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do is to Accept that we need help to face life’s issues.
Once we have made the decision to reach out and seek counselling or therapy, we want to find a therapist that we feel we can connect with — someone we feel can truly understand not only where we are, but who we are. Most importantly, we want to find someone we can trust with our innermost thoughts and feelings.
Therapist can help teach new skills, adjust old ones, and save an amazing amount of time and effort that could easily have been wasted trying the same old methods and expecting to somehow get great results. It makes a lot more sense to find a really good therapist, who specializes in working with the problem area, and then use their skills and expertise to assist you with getting the job done right!
Finding a therapist should not be a rushed decision. It should take a little bit of time and effort. If you choose a therapist that you do not feel connected with, chances are you won’t make much progress. Here are some tips for choosing the right therapist for you-
Word of mouth- the best way of finding a right therapist is through asking your friends or relatives who are in therapy. They may help you find the right therapist because they or their therapist can give you details of a therapist from their referral list.
Research Online- another way of finding a therapist or counselor for yourself is to research online for a therapist or counselor in your locality or city. Online applications like- DocsApp, Practo, etc can help you find the therapist you need. These websites provides information about therapist, their availability and fees. When looking for therapist you would look for therapists who are not selling themselves but rather those telling you about their work and their philosophy of working with patients.
Gender- When choosing a therapist, almost all people have an instinctive idea on gender they would prefer to work with. There is no right or wrong when it comes to choosing which gender you prefer to work with. However, it is all about how comfortable and convenient it would be for you to open up and discuss your problem with the therapist.
Their approach: This one is really tricky. There are many theoretical orientations and certainly each one of them cannot be explained in one single post. Here is some of the theoretical orientation you should know about-
If you believe there is an unconscious motivation for your behavior, you might want to go to a psycho dynamic therapist.
If you want to change your thoughts and you think doing that will change your life, and you don't believe in an unconscious, then you might want a cognitive therapist.
If you don't ever want to talk about mom and dad and you only want the here and now then maybe narrative, behavioral, or solution-oriented therapies are something to consider.
If you want to work on your family and not just on you, then try a family-oriented systems therapist.
If you think there is a particular pattern in your behavior or you want to improve your confidence level, or want to cope up with stress efficiently, then contact a hypnotherapist.
Call them- When you find a therapist to call, then call. It sounds easier than it is; I have had the numbers of therapists in my possession for weeks before I dared to call. Once on the phone, I had questions handy:
Where did s/he go to school? The best schools don't necessarily make for the best therapists. When asking this, the aim is just to know for sure that it is an accredited school and not an online coaching certificate.
What is her specialty?
Has s/he worked with people with your issues? On the phone, share a little about your presenting issue and see how the therapist responds.
What is her/his training? If s/he says she is trained, find out if it was a one-day seminar and, or, if she took a three-hour online course in psychoanalysis. If she calls herself an expert in a modality after such a short training I would likely hang up and move on to someone with a little more experience.
Is s/he trained? If s/he says that she/he is, you should still make sure. There are people (people I know) who don't have proper training and they are practicing. And it makes me wackadoodledoo. I have too big of a Superego to ever trust someone who would work outside of the law. Once you are sure that s/he actually has proper training, then you should go ahead.
Are they now, or have they ever been, in therapy? This is a big one. Do not, repeat, do not, get into therapy with someone who hasn't done her own work. Seeing a therapist who doesn't do her own therapy is like going to a priest who has no relationship with God. Unless one has done her own work, she is likely to have issues that create an increased chance of boundary issues, un-managed counter-transference, and blind spots.
Book an appointment- Make the best decision possible by taking the necessary time, and doing the appropriate research to choose a therapist that is right for you. By remaining open, honest, and willing to receive help, the therapeutic process can be very productive and beneficial.
References
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freudian-sip/201102/how-find-the-best-therapist-you
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/07/08/5-tips-for-finding-the-right-therapist/
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