Coping with Loss: A Personal Narrative & Evidence-Based *This blog post is grounded in personal experience and supported by evidence from various research findings. Please be aware that the content may be emotionally triggering for grieving people. Socrates said that "Death may be the greatest of all human blessings”. It may be , or maybe not! It may be for the person who died because he is now free of this life! Of happiness and suffering , Of pain and pleasure Finally, connecting back with the "One." While science has not yet confirmed the existence of an afterlife, religious texts provide some evidence of life beyond death. The question of whether we will reunite with our loved ones who have passed away remains unanswered. Religious sciences and spiritual texts suggest that we are all energy in physical form, and our consciousness continues to exist after death. As our consciousness leaves our physical body at the point of death, it merges with the higher self or the collective consciousness of which we are all a part. Many of us have encountered the death of a close one, even before the COVID pandemic and during COVID. These two years have been the scariest for many of us. This piece of writing is a mix of professional and personal guidance on dealing with this inevitable force, the grief which comes to those left behind. 1) What actually is going on in our brain when we loose someone! Losing someone we love can be an incredibly distressing and traumatic experience that affects us emotionally and physically. The grief that follows the loss of a loved one can trigger complex and intense reactions in our brain, which can have long-lasting effects. When we lose someone we love, our brain undergoes various changes that can lead to various emotional and physical responses. The amygdala, the part of our brain that processes emotions, is highly activated during grieving. This can result in heightened feelings of sadness, fear, and anxiety. The prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for our ability to reason and make decisions, is also affected. Focusing on tasks and making decisions can be more challenging as the prefrontal cortex works to process the loss and reconcile the new reality. The hippocampus, which is responsible for memory consolidation, is also affected by grief. During the grieving process, our hippocampus becomes hyperactive, which can lead to an increase in vivid and detailed memories of our loved ones. The brain's reward center, the ventral striatum, can also be impacted during the grieving process. Losing a loved one can cause a decrease in dopamine levels, which is the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of pleasure and reward. This can result in losing interest in activities that once brought joy and pleasure. It is essential to recognize that the grieving process is a unique experience that varies from person to person. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and allowing oneself to feel the full range of emotions that come with loss is essential. While it may be difficult, taking time to care for oneself during the grieving process and seeking support from loved ones, counselors, or support groups, if necessary, is essential. 2) How to deal with all these waves of emotions: Helping yourself through grieving time Grief is a natural response to loss, and it can manifest in many different ways. Whether you've lost a loved one, a job, or a significant relationship, the grieving process can be complex and overwhelming. However, there are strategies that can help you cope with grief and move forward in a healthy way. Acknowledge Your Feelings The first step in dealing with grief is to acknowledge your feelings. It's okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or any other emotion that comes up. Everyone experiences grief differently, and there is no right or wrong way to feel it. Allow yourself to express your emotions in a way that feels comfortable for you. This might mean talking to a trusted friend or family member, writing in a journal, or engaging in a creative activity like painting or music. It's important to remember that grief is not a linear process. You may feel like you're making progress one day and then experience a setback the next. This is normal and part of the healing process. Take Care of Yourself Grieving can take a toll on your physical and emotional health. It's essential to take care of yourself during this time. Ensure you get enough rest, eat well, and exercise regularly. These things can help improve your mood and overall well-being. It's also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol or drug use. These things may provide temporary relief but can ultimately worsen your grief. Seek Support You don't have to go through grief alone. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional can be beneficial. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you process your emotions and feel less alone. A therapist or counselor can provide additional support and guidance through grieving. If you're having trouble finding support in your personal life, many grief support groups are available. These groups can provide a safe and supportive environment for grieving people to connect and share their experiences. Practice Self-Compassion Dealing with grief can be challenging, and being kind to yourself is essential during this time. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. This might mean permitting yourself to take time off work or other obligations, setting realistic expectations, and feeling your emotions without judgment. Find Meaning in Your Loss While losing something or someone you care about is never easy, finding meaning in your loss is possible. This might mean finding ways to honor the memory of a loved one, pursuing a new career path after losing a job, or discovering new hobbies and interests that bring you joy. Finding meaning in your loss can help you feel more connected to the world and provide a sense of purpose. 3) Choosing the spritual pathway- Cultivating traits that lessen our karmic burden: Death is an undeniable fact of life, yet many of us go about our daily lives without considering it. This may be due to our optimistic outlook or our focus on the present moment rather than worrying about the future. As a result, we often hold grudges and refuse to communicate with others due to our egos or taking things too personally. However, when we suddenly lose someone, we experience shock and grief as we realize they will no longer be with us. Instead, if we accept death as an inevitable part of life, we can avoid accumulating negative energy from holding grudges and resentments. In the following section, I will present a meditation on releasing and forgiving those who have wronged us or those we may have misunderstood. Ultimately, carrying the burden of negative energy serves no purpose in our lives. We can cultivate forgiveness, kindness, and compassion, leading to a more peaceful existence. No matter what the case, none of us needs that burden to live by! Do We? Maybe we can cultivate forgiveness, kindness, and compassion in our lives. Cultivating forgiveness, kindness, and compassion in our lives can be a challenging but rewarding process. Here are some steps to help you get started: 1. Practice Self-Compassion: Forgiveness, kindness, and compassion must begin with ourselves. Acknowledge your own shortcomings and accept that you are not perfect. Be kind and gentle with yourself and treat yourself with the same understanding and patience you would extend to a loved one. 2. Let Go of Grudges and Resentment: Holding onto anger, grudges, and resentment towards others only harms us. Let go of negative feelings and focus on the present moment. Remember that forgiveness is not about excusing bad behavior but instead releasing the negative emotions that come with holding onto anger and resentment. 3. Practice Empathy: Empathy involves putting yourself in someone else's shoes and understanding their perspective. By practicing empathy, we can better understand the actions of others and develop greater compassion for their struggles and challenges. 4. Look for the Good in People: Instead of focusing on negative qualities or actions, consciously look for the good in people. Everyone has positive qualities; by recognizing them, we can develop a more positive outlook on others and the world around us. 5. Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is recognizing and appreciating the good things in our lives. We can develop a more positive and compassionate outlook by focusing on what we are thankful for. Take time each day to reflect on the things in your life that you are grateful for, no matter how small they may seem. 6. Practice Random Acts of Kindness: Random acts of kindness can make a significant difference in someone's day and can help cultivate kindness and compassion in our lives. Whether buying a coffee for a stranger, sending a thoughtful text message to a friend, or volunteering in your community, these small acts of kindness can have a powerful impact. 7. Seek Out Positive Influences: Surround yourself with people who exhibit forgiveness, kindness, and compassion in their own lives. Seek positive role models and surround yourself with a supportive community that encourages and promotes these qualities. In conclusion, dealing with grief can be a challenging experience, but it's an essential part of the human experience. By acknowledging our emotions, seeking support from loved ones and professionals, and practicing self-care, we can navigate the grieving process and find healing in our own time. Moreover, cultivating forgiveness, kindness, and compassion can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life. By practicing empathy, letting go of grudges, seeking out positive influences, and practicing random acts of kindness, we can develop a more positive outlook and build stronger connections with the people around us. With these practices, we can find strength and resilience in even the toughest of times. We hope this article Coping with Loss: A Personal Narrative & Evidence-Based Guide to Dealing with Grief and Bereavement helps those grieving. If you are looking to seek professional support, you can get in touch with our counselors.

One of the hardest things we’ll ever have to do is to Accept that we need help to face life’s issues. Once we have made the decision to reach out and seek counselling or therapy, we want to find a therapist that we feel we can connect with — someone we feel can truly understand not only where we are, but who we are . Most importantly, we want to find someone we can trust with our innermost thoughts and feelings. Therapist can help teach new skills, adjust old ones, and save an amazing amount of time and effort that could easily have been wasted trying the same old methods and expecting to somehow get great results. It makes a lot more sense to find a really good therapist, who specializes in working with the problem area, and then use their skills and expertise to assist you with getting the job done right! Finding a therapist should not be a rushed decision. It should take a little bit of time and effort. If you choose a therapist that you do not feel connected with, chances are you won’t make much progress. Here are some tips for choosing the right therapist for you- Word of mouth- the best way of finding a right therapist is through asking your friends or relatives who are in therapy. They may help you find the right therapist because they or their therapist can give you details of a therapist from their referral list. Research Online- another way of finding a therapist or counselor for yourself is to research online for a therapist or counselor in your locality or city. Online applications like- DocsApp, Practo, etc can help you find the therapist you need. These websites provides information about therapist, their availability and fees. When looking for therapist you would look for therapists who are not selling themselves but rather those telling you about their work and their philosophy of working with patients. Gender- When choosing a therapist, almost all people have an instinctive idea on gender they would prefer to work with. There is no right or wrong when it comes to choosing which gender you prefer to work with. However, it is all about how comfortable and convenient it would be for you to open up and discuss your problem with the therapist. Their approach: This one is really tricky. There are many theoretical orientations and certainly each one of them cannot be explained in one single post. Here is some of the theoretical orientation you should know about- If you believe there is an unconscious motivation for your behavior, you might want to go to a psycho dynamic therapist. If you want to change your thoughts and you think doing that will change your life, and you don't believe in an unconscious, then you might want a cognitive therapist. If you don't ever want to talk about mom and dad and you only want the here and now then maybe narrative, behavioral, or solution-oriented therapies are something to consider. If you want to work on your family and not just on you, then try a family-oriented systems therapist. If you think there is a particular pattern in your behavior or you want to improve your confidence level, or want to cope up with stress efficiently, then contact a hypnotherapist. Call them- When you find a therapist to call, then call. It sounds easier than it is; I have had the numbers of therapists in my possession for weeks before I dared to call. Once on the phone, I had questions handy: Where did s/he go to school? The best schools don't necessarily make for the best therapists. When asking this, the aim is just to know for sure that it is an accredited school and not an online coaching certificate. What is her specialty? Has s/he worked with people with your issues? On the phone, share a little about your presenting issue and see how the therapist responds. What is her/his training? If s/he says she is trained, find out if it was a one-day seminar and, or, if she took a three-hour online course in psychoanalysis . If she calls herself an expert in a modality after such a short training I would likely hang up and move on to someone with a little more experience. Is s/he trained? If s/he says that she/he is, you should still make sure. There are people (people I know) who don't have proper training and they are practicing. And it makes me wackadoodledoo. I have too big of a Superego to ever trust someone who would work outside of the law. Once you are sure that s/he actually has proper training, then you should go ahead. Are they now, or have they ever been, in therapy? This is a big one. Do not, repeat, do not, get into therapy with someone who hasn't done her own work. Seeing a therapist who doesn't do her own therapy is like going to a priest who has no relationship with God. Unless one has done her own work, she is likely to have issues that create an increased chance of boundary issues, un-managed counter-transference, and blind spots. Book an appointment- Make the best decision possible by taking the necessary time, and doing the appropriate research to choose a therapist that is right for you. By remaining open, honest, and willing to receive help, the therapeutic process can be very productive and beneficial. References https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freudian-sip/201102/how-find-the-best-therapist-you https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/07/08/5-tips-for-finding-the-right-therapist/

Guide for an Psychology Expat Many people from the field of Psychology who move to the United Kingdom (U.K.), can find the process of starting and setting their practice from the ground up very difficult. First thing they face is being unaware of the whole process. Unlike many developing countries, United Kingdom have a very clear and regulated system if you are looking to work as a Practitioner Psychologist here. In this blog I will talk about how you can get registered and what are the requirements and process of registration. Q1- Where do I need to register? If you are a psychologist, who has a professional training you need to be registered under the Health and Care Professions Council also known as HCPC. Q2- What are the different routes to apply? There are two routes, first is for the United Kingdom applications which is only for professionals who have completed their training from the universities in the U.K. Second route is for the international applicants, those who have completed their training anywhere outside the U.K. Therefore, anyone whose training and qualifications are not from U.K., universities will apply through international route. Q3- How to know if I am eligible to apply for it? To apply you must have undergone training in one of the relevant professions outside of the UK., and you should be able to provide a proof for that in your application. You should have a good understanding of the professional standards of proficiency , conduct, performance, ethics and must be able to provide proof of continuing professional development Q4- What documents do I need? Before starting your application, you need to organize following documents, to support your application to work as a Practitioner Psychologist under HCPC. It can be a tedious process, can is done in few stages. For ease of organizing, I have divided the requirements into following sections: A) Cover Letter and Application for Registration as a Practitioner Psychologist B) Educational Qualifications: your relevant educational qualifications mostly professional. You need your marksheets, degrees and course information form for all the educational qualifications you are providing information for in support of your application. 1) Marksheet - provide them, as they contains information about the subjects and topics which were taught to you. 2) Degree - proof of completion of that course 3) Course Information form - is must, and it provides detailed information about theoretical and practical content of the courses you have successfully completed. It can be filled by you, using the course syllabus, but must be duly signed, stamped and attested by your Head of Department or Course provider. Include details of the course content; the number of theoretical and practical hours for each module or subject; and the assessment methods used. C) Certified Proof of Identity and Address: you will have to provide your evidence of address and identity. 1) You can provide your passport and BRP 2) You can provide your Council Tax receipt 3) Household bill D) Professional Experience: you are required to provide letter of experience, which should include your relevant paid and all voluntary work experience. You should include the following: Professional Experience letter which should include what was your job role, and number of clinical hours, audits you have done. Information about the job setting etc. Job experience letter your from employer which should include the following: your role Start and end of employment Overall hours of patient contact and work Information about supervision if any was provided E. Professional Registration and Membership proof F. English Language Proficiency IELTS Certificate Q5. Document verification before uploading for registration If you are preparing your documents before coming to the U.K., you can get it attested from a Gazetted officer, in India. You will have to take your original documents with you. If you are applying from within the U.K., you can get your documents approved and verified from post office. You will have to take your original documents with you. Ask them to write this on the document: "I certify that this is a true copy of the original document seen by me" Their signature and the date Their name, professional title and contact details Once you have organized all your documents, have gotten them verified you will have to upload them on the portal. After reviewing your documents, you will be asked to pay your application assessment fees and your course providers will be sent an email from HCPC office to verify the information you have provided. Your application is sent for assessment to independent reviewers, and once your qualifications have been matched to the UK standard, then they ask you to finally pay for your registration. Once you are done with all this, your registration will be valid for a period of two years. *This process is taking more time because of the increase in number of international applications. References: International application Route Standards of proficiency Standards of conduct, performance and ethics The standards for continuing professional development Course Information Form word file Documents Certification detail information on who can certify and how HCPC Online Registration Form

Graduating with a psychology qualification from an Indian institution embarks budding psychologists on a dynamic yet, at times, confusing journey to figure out what to do next. Psychology encompasses various sub-fields, including clinical practice, academic research, corporate consulting, education, policy-making, and more. As a recent graduate in psychology, I know the world of human behaviour and the workings of the mind can simultaneously be thrilling and daunting. The possibilities of what you can learn and achieve in this field are endless, and it's hard not to feel a sense of excitement mixed with a touch of overwhelm. Through this blog, we intend to enable a delineated truth of this adventure post-graduating that promises much more satisfaction than attending trooping lectures in the intermediate or graduation years. Discover Your Niche The first step in pursuing a career in psychology is to identify your area of interest. Are you drawn to clinical work or the mechanisms of the human mind in a corporate setting? Your interest could even lie in research or educational psychology. Reflect on your coursework, internships, and projects to pinpoint where your passion lies. And if you are still trying to find out, it's completely okay. Further Studies: A Gateway to Specialization In India, after the graduation of a psychology student at the bachelor level, you are just a foundation whose expertise level demands that you deepen your engagement to professionalism based on advanced academics and practicals. A master’s or a doctorate could establish you much further than expected. If you want to complete your further education in India, aim for the top institutes (sign up to receive the Career in Psychology Guide) like The National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences in Bangalore, University of Delhi, VIMHANS, CIP Ranchi and the Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumbai, which offer some of the best-esteemed psychology specialization postgraduate programs. If a clinical practice or counselling interests you, you must promptly secure certification and a license in your preferred area. Clinical psychologists must register with the Rehabilitation Council of India to practice legally. This requires you to complete a recognised MPhil in Clinical Psychology or a PG Diploma in Clinical Psychology and accumulate enough supervised practice hours. Familiarizing yourself with the legal and professional requirements to start your practice is essential in establishing a recognized and respected brand. Supervision in Professional Development Learned a new Skill? Take supervision! Supervision is pivotal in psychology, particularly clinical practice, education, and counselling. It is a critical component of professional development, serving as a foundation for enhancing skills and knowledge and as a safeguard for ethical and effective practice. This structured support system benefits both the supervisee and their clients, significantly advancing professional standards and quality of care. Get some experience Your theoretical knowledge serves little purpose unless you solidify it with practical experience. Look to internships, volunteer positions, or part-time roles that align with your interests. This will add to your knowledge and help you see if your speciality precisely fits your preferences. Moreover, experience enhances your resume, making you an attractive applicant for higher studies or employment. Build your network The Psychology community in India is vast and welcoming to new entrants. Associations like the National Academy of Psychology can help you build connections in your area. Join workshops, seminars, and conferences in your area and actively engage in discussions and opportunities. Networking helps you find mentorship and potential job opportunities within the field. Embrace diverse opportunities Associating a psychology degree with therapy is far from factual. Psychology majors are flooding and excelling in nondescriptive fields such as human resources, market research, technology experience, and education technology. These professionals use psychology to evaluate and influence human behaviour in professional and non-work environments. Open to diverse job opportunities where you can apply your psychology skills. Commit to Lifelong Learning Psychology is a dynamic field. Research, theories, best practices, and trends continuously change how we perceive the mind and human behaviour. To build a career in psychology, professionals should be committed to lifelong learning by consistently pursuing new certifications, attending workshops, and engaging in self-study. Lifelong learning helps professionals remain competitive and succeed in their respective careers. Finally, continuously dissecting psychology databases in India opens limitless exploration opportunities, including learning and growth. Individuals can find rewarding careers by determining their interests, furthering their education, gaining practical experience, and actively participating in the professional community. In conclusion, the psychology path is as varied, rich, and exciting as it is fulfilling and contributing to the diverse fields of study and people’s well-being. Need some guidance, contact us on ipsychevitality@gmail.com

There's often a disconnect between what we say and what we do. We tell ourselves we're going to do one thing, then we do another. How often do you find yourself saying these statements to yourself or others (but never following through on them): "I'm going to start eating healthier." "I'm going to start going to the gym." "I'm going to start socializing more." "I'm going to start practicing guitar." "I'm going to start a small business." "I'm going to start following one of my passions." We have a lot of things that we want to do. But what we want to do and what we actually do are often two very different things. Of course, this disconnect creates low self-esteem in ourselves. We have certain ideas about how we should act, then we don't do them and we quickly become disappointed, frustrated, and angry at ourselves. So how do we bridge this disconnect between what we say vs. what we do? How can we actually take our desire to do something and transform it into a real habit? One scientifically supported method for following through on small habits and goals is to use something called implementation intentions. These are a specific kind of "personal statement" that are designed to motivate you to take action, rather than just saying something and never actually doing it. The basic idea is to form an "if-then" plan to help instill new habits in your life in a specific situation. The basic formula is: "If situation X arises, I will perform response Y." X refers to the situation you want to improve in your life, and Y refers to something small and realistic that you can actually do to work toward that improvement. Here are some quick examples of implementation intentions: "If I'm thirsty and go to get a drink, then I will choose water over soda." "If I want to get fit before the summer, then I'll go to the gym 2-3 times a week." "If I'm feeling bored and lonely, then I'll call up a friend or go out to a movie/restaurant/bar with someone." "If I have free time after work, then I'll spend it practicing my guitar scales instead of watching TV." By forming these specific intentions, we prime our minds to act in these new specific ways. The more detailed your plan of action is, the more effective it will be. The best part about using this tool is that it makes our goals no longer abstract and distant. They are more than just "wants" now - they are a plan. We now have a clearly defined course of action to actually start making a difference, not just desiring one. Try this! Write down an implementation intention of your own right now. Just focus on one specific habit in your life that you want to change. Then post it around your house in areas where you'll see it, and try repeating it to yourself in a meaningful and purposeful way every morning and night for 2 weeks. Get it ingrained into your brain. Now, when you find yourself in that situation, you'll be more prepared to finally act on that intention and desire.

In today's fast-paced and interconnected world, many of us find ourselves endlessly trying to decipher and control the behaviors of those around us. This relentless pursuit can lead to emotional exhaustion and frustration. However, a transformative approach known as the "let them theory" is gaining traction for its powerful potential to change lives by promoting a more detached, observant stance in interpersonal relationships. The Core of the "Let Them Theory" The essence of the "let them theory" lies in the simple yet profound idea that we should stop spending vast amounts of energy trying to control or analyze others and instead, let people be themselves. This approach is grounded in the understanding that we cannot control other people’s actions or fully comprehend their motivations. The theory advocates for a shift from a proactive stance of manipulation and control to a more passive and observational role. It's important to note that this doesn't entail adopting a cold or indifferent attitude but rather, focusing on our responses and what we can actually control—ourselves. The Psychological and Emotional Benefits One of the significant benefits of adopting the "let them theory" is emotional freedom. By relinquishing the need to control or change others, we also free ourselves from the emotional burden of their actions. This can lead to decreased anxiety and stress, as we no longer tie our emotional well-being to the actions and decisions of others. Additionally, this detachment allows us to see people's true colors. Observing without the intent to influence, we gain a clearer understanding of who someone truly is, which is invaluable in forming authentic relationships. Real-World Application Applying the "let them theory" in real-life situations could mean accepting a friend’s decision to cancel plans without feeling the need to change their mind. Or in a professional setting, it might involve accepting a colleague’s work style without trying to intervene, as long as it doesn't affect your own productivity. This theory encourages us to focus on our actions and reactions, which are within our control, and to let go of our grip on others. Building Healthier Relationships By allowing others the space to be themselves, we lay a foundation for healthier and more sustainable relationships. This practice helps in setting appropriate boundaries that respect both our well-being and that of others. When we stop trying to mold people into who we want them to be, we start appreciating them for who they are, which is essential for any lasting relationship. The "let them theory" is more than just a passive approach; it's a proactive strategy for emotional health and relationship building. It teaches us that while we can influence our surroundings to a degree, the ultimate control we have is over ourselves and how we choose to respond to the world around us. In adopting this theory, we not only enhance our emotional and psychological resilience but also pave the way for more genuine and fulfilling connections. Explore this approach and discover how letting go can actually bring you closer to the personal peace and clarity you seek in your relationships. Embrace the "let them theory" and watch as your life transforms, one liberated relationship at a time. Your guide to implement ‘The let them theory in real life’ Implementing the "Let Them Theory" involves cultivating a mindset of acceptance and observance in your daily interactions. Here's a step-by-step protocol to help you embrace and integrate this theory into your life, enhancing your emotional well-being and the quality of your relationships. Step 1: Cultivate Awareness - Objective : Recognize when you are trying to control or change others. - Action : Begin by observing your thoughts and reactions in various situations. Notice when you feel the urge to influence or analyze someone's actions. Keeping a journal can help you track these moments and reflect on them. Step 2: Practice Mindfulness and Self-Reflection - Objective : Develop the ability to stay present and reflect on your motivations. - Action : Engage in daily mindfulness exercises such as meditation or deep breathing. This helps you center yourself and manage reactive emotions. Ask yourself what triggers your need to control or analyze others and consider what fears or insecurities might be driving these behaviors. Step 3: Adopt a Stance of Acceptance - Objective : Accept that other people’s behaviors and choices are beyond your control. - Action : Whenever you catch yourself wanting to control or change a situation, consciously remind yourself, “I let them be.” Visualize stepping back physically in those moments as a symbol of your emotional step back. Step 4: Focus on Your Responses - Objective : Shift your focus from others' actions to your own responses. - Action : Decide how you will react in ways that preserve your well-being and values. For example, if someone cancels plans, focus on how you can use this time positively for yourself instead of feeling upset or trying to change their mind. Step 5: Set Healthy Boundaries - Objective : Distinguish between accepting others' behaviors and tolerating behavior that affects you negatively. - Action : Clearly define what is acceptable and what isn’t in your relationships. Communicate these boundaries calmly and clearly to others. For instance, if a colleague’s work habits disrupt your productivity, discuss ways to minimize the impact on your work environment. Step 6: Reinforce Positive Interactions - Objective : Encourage behaviors and interactions that align with your well-being and values. - Action : Positively reinforce actions from others that you find respectful and enriching. For example, acknowledge and express appreciation when someone communicates openly or supports your boundaries. Step 7: Reflect and Adjust - Objective : Continually assess and refine your approach to implementing this theory. - Action : Regularly review your experiences and feelings through journaling or discussions with a trusted friend or therapist. Identify what strategies are working and where you might need to make adjustments in your approach to maintaining emotional freedom. By following these steps, you can successfully implement the "Let Them Theory" in your life. This approach not only fosters personal growth and emotional resilience but also cultivates deeper, more authentic relationships with those around you. Remember, the key is consistency and a genuine commitment to change how you interact with the world. Let us know in comments how it helped you change the way you navigate the world? If you want help from one of our professionals, email us through contact us page.

So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. Abuse can have devastating effects on the mental health of individuals, regardless of their sex or gender. It is important to recognize that anyone can experience abuse, and addressing the specific impacts on mental health is crucial in understanding the complex consequences of such traumatic experiences. Here, we will discuss different types of abuse and their potential impacts on the mental health of all sexes. What are the different types of Abuse that you need to know before you can overcome and heal to Reclaim your life? Physical Abuse: Physical abuse involves the use of physical force that causes bodily harm or injury to another person. It can include hitting, punching, slapping, kicking, or any other form of physical violence. The impact of physical abuse on mental health can be severe and varied, including symptoms of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and increased risk of self-harm or suicide. Emotional/Psychological Abuse: Emotional or psychological abuse is characterized by patterns of behavior that undermine an individual's self-worth, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. This type of abuse may involve constant criticism, manipulation, humiliation, gaslighting, and controlling behaviors. The impact of emotional abuse can lead to feelings of worthlessness, low self-confidence, anxiety, depression, and difficulty trusting others. Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse refers to any form of non-consensual sexual activity or exploitation. It includes rape, molestation, unwanted sexual advances, coercion, and any other sexual acts performed without consent. The mental health consequences of sexual abuse can be profound and long-lasting. Survivors may experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, feelings of guilt or shame, disordered eating, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts. Financial Abuse: Financial abuse involves controlling or manipulating someone's finances, often to gain power and control over them. This can include restricting access to money, stealing assets, coercing financial decisions, or exploiting financial dependence. The mental health impact of financial abuse can include feelings of helplessness, anxiety, depression, and a sense of being trapped in an abusive situation. Verbal Abuse: Verbal abuse refers to the use of words, tone, or language to demean, belittle, or insult another person. It can involve constant yelling, name-calling, humiliation, or threats. Verbal abuse can have significant impacts on mental health, leading to feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Impact of abuse and trauma on both sexes? It is important to note that the impact of abuse on mental health can vary from person to person. Factors such as the duration and severity of the abuse, the presence of other supportive relationships, and individual resilience can influence the outcomes. Seeking professional help, such as therapy and counseling, is crucial for survivors of abuse to address and heal from the trauma they have experienced. Furthermore, it is essential to recognize that individuals of all sexes can experience abuse. While women and girls often face higher rates of certain types of abuse, such as sexual and intimate partner violence, men and individuals of other genders can also be victims of abuse. It is crucial to provide support and resources for all survivors, regardless of their sex or gender identity, in order to address the mental health impacts of abuse effectively. How to overcome abuse and reclaim your life? Overcoming abuse is a challenging and deeply personal journey. It requires time, support, and a commitment to healing. While each individual's experience is unique, here are some general steps that can help in the process of overcoming abuse: Acknowledge the abuse: Recognize and acknowledge that you have experienced abuse. It can be difficult to accept, but acknowledging it is an important first step towards healing. Reach out for support: Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can provide empathy, validation, and a safe space to share your feelings. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse. Establish boundaries: Setting clear boundaries is crucial in protecting yourself and creating a sense of safety. Learn to say "no" to situations or people that make you uncomfortable, and surround yourself with individuals who respect your boundaries. Develop self-care practices: Engage in self-care activities that promote healing and well-being. This can include practices such as exercise, meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy. Educate yourself: Learn about the dynamics of abuse, its effects on mental health, and strategies for recovery. Knowledge empowers you to understand your experiences and find appropriate resources for healing. Seek professional help: Consider therapy or counseling to address the emotional and psychological impacts of abuse. A mental health professional can provide guidance, coping strategies, and tools for healing and growth. Practice self-compassion: Be gentle and patient with yourself during the healing process. Recognize that healing takes time and that setbacks are normal. Practice self-compassion by nurturing self-love, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness. Build a support network: Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals who uplift you and validate your experiences. Join support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who have similar experiences and share insights and encouragement. Explore healing modalities: Consider exploring various healing modalities, such as art therapy, yoga, mindfulness, or body-based therapies like somatic experiencing. These approaches can help process trauma and promote overall well-being. Take legal action if necessary: If the abuse involves criminal behavior, consider reporting it to the appropriate authorities. Seek legal advice to understand your rights and options. Remember, everyone's healing journey is unique, and there is no timeline for recovery. Focus on self-care, and self-compassion, and surround yourself with support as you navigate the path toward healing and reclaiming your life. You are resilient, and there is hope for a brighter future beyond abuse. Here are a few organizations that provide support and resources for individuals who have experienced abuse: Name of Organisation ​Country Website National Domestic Violence Hotline ​USA ​www.thehotline.org RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) USA www.rainn.org Childhelp ​USA ​ www.childhelp.org Women's Aid United Kingdom ​ www.womensaid.org.uk ​ Refuge ​United Kingdom ​ www.refuge.org.uk Psyche Vitality ​India, and United Kingdom www.psychevitality.com Helping Survivors USA https://helpingsurvivors.org/about-us/ Must Read books to educate yourself about the impact of trauma on the body and mental health- These are my favorite must-read books, click on them and get it for yourself 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. As we discussed that trauma is something that is not only experienced by females, men also experience it, and quite often they repress it. Here are a few book recommendations that specifically address abuse and trauma from a men's perspective: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Ever wondered how life would be if we weren't controlled by our insecurities ! Always living in anxiety of tomorrow, directed by if's and what if! Ever thought why are we the way we are? Why can't we just live in present and enjoy present moment, because after all this is what we have. Who has seen future?? How and what we are is pretty much outcome of our genetic unconsciousness , parenting, environment, culture and more over depends on our interpretation of things as a mature individual. Rest is our experiences and how we adapt to the external environment by changing our internal interpretation of such external inputs and thus modifying our reactions. In day to day life, I see insecurity in people in terms of career, relationships, insecurities among parents for their children's future. We have been so used to it; used to feeling insecure and trying to make things secure all our lives that we have forgotten to live in present. We are just trying to complete those checklist of the society, without taking some time to stop and think- where are we all heading towards? For what are we all accumulating? What is the cost of this accumulation and insecurities - "the cost is this moment, the family time, the current stage in life we are at!" We are not getting it back at any cost! While thinking about these questions, I found my answer in the theory of collective unconsciousness given by Carl Jung. The existence of the collective unconscious means that individual consciousness is anything but a tabula rasa and is not immune to predetermining influences. On the contrary, it is in the highest degree influenced by inherited presuppositions, quite apart from the unavoidable influences exerted upon it by the environment. The collective unconscious comprises in itself the psychic life of our ancestors right back to the earliest beginnings. If we go back to our ancestral history of India, India was a prosperous country. It came under rule of Britishers, in 1757 till 1947, for almost 190 years and many others ruled it for many years. For Decades and centuries we have been ruled by others. When they left India, it was in a very poor economic state. People were struggling to meet their daily needs. 190 years of slavery, must have put a huge impact on the psyche of the citizens which kept on moving from one generation to another, hence resulted into accumulation because of the need to feel secure socially, financially and emotionally. This became the collective unconsciousness of the free India and might have resulted into Psychological Insecurities we are seeing these days. We need to change it with conscious effort, by starting to live in present, making each day count and giving this world the best we can while we are alive. We need to stop forcing and asking our young generation to settle for something we think is best for them. It should be their choice, it should be their decision to choose the PATH they want to go on. After all it's going to be their journey! It's going to be their lessons! Because Insecurities KILLS more Dreams than FAILURE ever Will.....!!

Suppose, someone gets the job, where he/she is really happy, feels like he is able to meet the purpose of his life, making a real difference in the lives of others. This person has the set of skills, is also the Jack of all trades, and Even the Master of One! Most of the qualities in one person! And works tenaciously, and with dedication for the organization. One day, out of blue after years, decides to just resign! Why would one do this? One who is the perfect match for this organisation and vice versa! It's essential to understand the psychology behind why in an organisation, good employees leave. The answer to this question can be understood by understanding the type of employees: One is looking for some experience to either start their setup or move from one organisation to another to gain more experience, the Jumpers and Explorers ! Then the other type, who, before applying for a job, knows what he wants, is looking for a long-term commitment, and usually is looking for something more than ordinary, where he can make an actual difference, the Stayers and Knowers! There is no good or bad; it's just about a set of skills and personality an employee has, which makes him seem reasonable or not so good for the position. And every organisation wants both types: the Stayers and Knowers ( SKs ) reasonable, who will stay because they relate to the cause or the organisation's niche. They are the ones who will keep doing most of the work and will help others to achieve the deadline so that the company doesn't fail. They will keep saying yes, to extra requests. Because they relate to the organisation. They genuinely want it to win! SK's personality can be defined as a mix of serious, focused, hard workers who will keep grinding themselves, introverted, as they will not be able to speak up about themselves; however, they will not hesitate to save others' backs. The Jumpers, and Explorers, on the other hand, are straightforward, very extrovert people who will make it look like they are doing a lot but are not, or are always just meeting the deadlines rarely. They will always be there to have a piece of cake for the effort of the SK's work. Hiring someone is a two-way relationship between the organisation and that employee. The excitement and the motivation are equal among both. It's not just the employee who will give part of his life's time to this organisation, but vice-versa. Because both are at the receiving end, in one or the other way, In the starting few months, there is an enormous amount of time spent from the employer's end in training the new employee and helping him understand their operations and work procedure. The organisation will get their work done, and for that work, the employee will get remuneration, experience, new learnings, and new friends. What goes wrong with the Stayers or Knowers? We interviewed ten people from various organisations who left their jobs after quite a long time. The reasons they quoted behind leaving are quite an eye-opener! They hit deep 1) Lack of recognition for the amount of input I gave to the organisation. 2) People will say it was my choice, that I was overworked!! 3) Transferrence of stress from seniors 4) Lack of growth opportunities within the organisation. 5) Feeling undervalued and unappreciated for the work they do. 6) Lack of work-life balance leads to burnout. 7) Company culture needs to align with its values. 8) Lack of communication and feedback from management. 9) Feeling stagnant and needing to be challenged more in their role. 10) Personal life changes or a desire to pursue a different career path. These reasons highlight the importance of maintaining a positive work environment, fostering communication, and offering growth opportunities to retain valuable employees. Retaining Stayers and Knowers is crucial for any organisation's long-term success. These employees are the organisation's backbone and contribute significantly to its growth and development. However, it is not uncommon for these employees to leave their jobs due to various reasons. To retain these valuable employees, organisations can adopt the following strategies: Provide Recognition and Rewards: Stayers and Knowers often feel unappreciated for their efforts. Therefore, recognising their contributions and providing rewards and incentives can boost their morale and motivate them to continue working with the organisation. Offer Growth Opportunities: These employees seek long-term commitment and ways to make a real difference in the organisation. Providing growth opportunities such as promotions, leadership training, and skill development programs can help them achieve their goals and feel valued. Create a Positive Work Culture: A positive work culture is crucial for retaining employees. Organisations can create a positive work environment by promoting work-life balance, encouraging teamwork, and providing opportunities for socialisation. Regular Feedback and Communication: Regular feedback and communication can help Stayers and Knowers understand their strengths and weaknesses and work towards improving them. It also helps them feel connected with the organisation and know their opinions and concerns are valued. Provide Competitive Remuneration and Benefits: Providing competitive remuneration and benefits is essential to retain employees. Offering salaries and benefits at par or higher than industry standards can prevent Stayers and Knowers from seeking better opportunities elsewhere. In conclusion, retaining Stayers and Knowers is critical for a your organisation's long-term success. These strategies can create a positive work culture, provide growth opportunities, and motivate employees to continue working with the organisation.

Nobody is more interested in trashing your name other than the person who is afraid that you will tell the truth. Many a times post breakup, or after being getting cheated it happens that person who did that to you starts trashing your name. Breakups can be tough, but they can be even tougher when your ex-partner starts trashing your name. It's a common tactic used by people who are afraid that you will reveal the truth about their behaviour, and it can be incredibly hurtful and damaging to your reputation. However, it's important to remember that their actions say more about them than they do about you. Here are some tips for dealing with an ex who is trashing your name: Don't engage in their behaviour: It can be tempting to retaliate when someone is spreading lies about you, but this will only make things worse. It's important to take the high road and not stoop to their level. Remember that you can't control their actions, but you can control your own. Set the record straight: If someone approaches you with rumors or lies that your ex has spread, don't be afraid to correct them. Be honest and factual, but don't engage in any drama or gossip. Simply state your side of the story and move on. Surround yourself with supportive people: It's important to have a strong support system during this time. Surround yourself with friends and family who believe in you and know your character. Their support can help you weather the storm of rumors and lies. Take care of yourself: Dealing with a breakup and the aftermath of your ex trashing your name can be emotionally draining. It's important to take care of yourself during this time. Practice self-care activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. Consider Professional Support to manage the related stress: these times can be very stressful and emotionally taxing experience. It's important to recognize that you don't have to go through this alone, and seeking professional support can be a helpful way to manage the related stress. Professional support can come in many different forms, depending on what works best for you. Here are some options to consider: Therapy: Seeing a therapist can be a helpful way to work through the emotions that come with a breakup and the aftermath of your ex trashing your name. A therapist can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to talk about your feelings, process the experience, and develop coping strategies. Support groups: There are many support groups available for people going through a breakup or dealing with the aftermath of a difficult relationship. These groups provide a community of people who understand what you're going through and can offer support and guidance. Coaching: Working with a life coach or a relationship coach can be a helpful way to gain clarity and perspective on the situation. A coach can help you set goals, develop a plan for moving forward, and provide accountability and support along the way. 6. Consider legal action: If your ex's behaviour is particularly egregious or is affecting your career or personal life, it may be worth considering legal action. Defamation laws exist to protect individuals from false statements that harm their reputation. Always remember that you are in charge of your own character, and do not allow your ex-partner's behavior to affect your self-worth. Stay positive, keep moving forward, and trust that the truth will ultimately prevail, revealing your ex's lies for what they are. Seeking professional assistance during this challenging time is a courageous move and a crucial step towards self-care, as it can provide the support you need to navigate through the stress and emotional toll.

Those who have learned to adjust... Will never understand.... What it takes to not adjust! Those who have learned to compromise.. Will never understand... What it takes to not compromise! Those who have learned all their lives to criticize others.... Will never understand.. What it takes to appreciate others! Those who have been part of crowd... Will never understand... What it takes to stand out! Those who have always been selfish... Will never understand.. What it takes to be selfless! Those who have always talked behind the back.... Will never understand.... What it takes to say it on the face.... Those who are just living for themselves... Will never understand... What it takes to live for others! Let them not understand..... Because they will learn in their own way...else Karma will! Because KARMA leaves NONE! THUS Just be you.... Because you were not born to be like them... Everyone of us who struggle with such conflicts.... just never stop believing in yourself.... at the end what will give you LIBERATION will be your NULL KARMIC ACCOUNT.

About meditation Osho said: Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand ~ relax. If you relax it comes, if you relax it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it. Meditation is a practice where an individual trains the mind or induces a mode of consciousness, either to realize some benefit or for the mind to simply acknowledge its content without becoming identified with that content, or as an end in itself. You will have to understand one of the most fundamental things about meditation: that no technique leads to meditation. The old so-called techniques and the new scientific biofeedback techniques are the same as far as meditation is concerned. Meditation is not a byproduct of any technique. Meditation happens beyond mind. No technique can go beyond mind.” One of the major misconception about meditation is that you need to sit down in a particular position, and empty your mind, but actually this is not a necessity for meditating. All one has to do is to choose any comfortable position or time suitable, and just breathe in and out while letting the body relax and acknowledge the thoughts, feelings and emotions. An eight week study conducted by Harvard researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) determined that meditation literally rebuilds the brain’s grey matter in just eight weeks, which is known to be important for learning and memory, and in structures associated with self-awareness, compassion, and introspection. QUICK TIPS FOR MEDITATION: Position yourself into a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths ( start breathing in at 7,6,5 … hold at 4 and exhale at 3,2,1) While you breathe out , exhale all the stress and tension, feeling better and relaxed. Repeat to yourself “I am calm, safe, happier and I live in the present moment.” (Five times) Acknowledge your present emotions and become aware, feel them, know them. Get in touch with your surroundings, feel the calmness and enjoy the relaxed state of mind. Then, end the meditation by repeating step no 1 NOTE: try this meditation along with meditation music playlist available under videos tab of the author’s page. For queries use contact form.