*This blog post is grounded in personal experience and supported by evidence from various research findings. Please be aware that the content may be emotionally triggering for grieving people.
Socrates said that "Death may be the greatest of all human blessings”.
It may be, or maybe not!
It may be for the person who died because he is now free of this life!
Of happiness and suffering,
Of pain and pleasure
Finally, connecting back with the "One."
While science has not yet confirmed the existence of an afterlife, religious texts provide some evidence of life beyond death. The question of whether we will reunite with our loved ones who have passed away remains unanswered.
Religious sciences and spiritual texts suggest that we are all energy in physical form, and our consciousness continues to exist after death. As our consciousness leaves our physical body at the point of death, it merges with the higher self or the collective consciousness of which we are all a part.
Many of us have encountered the death of a close one, even before the COVID pandemic and during COVID. These two years have been the scariest for many of us. This piece of writing is a mix of professional and personal guidance on dealing with this inevitable force, the grief which comes to those left behind.
1) What actually is going on in our brain when we loose someone!
Losing someone we love can be an incredibly distressing and traumatic experience that affects us emotionally and physically. The grief that follows the loss of a loved one can trigger complex and intense reactions in our brain, which can have long-lasting effects.
When we lose someone we love, our brain undergoes various changes that can lead to various emotional and physical responses. The amygdala, the part of our brain that processes emotions, is highly activated during grieving. This can result in heightened feelings of sadness, fear, and anxiety.
The prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for our ability to reason and make decisions, is also affected. Focusing on tasks and making decisions can be more challenging as the prefrontal cortex works to process the loss and reconcile the new reality.
The hippocampus, which is responsible for memory consolidation, is also affected by grief. During the grieving process, our hippocampus becomes hyperactive, which can lead to an increase in vivid and detailed memories of our loved ones.
The brain's reward center, the ventral striatum, can also be impacted during the grieving process. Losing a loved one can cause a decrease in dopamine levels, which is the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of pleasure and reward. This can result in losing interest in activities that once brought joy and pleasure.
It is essential to recognize that the grieving process is a unique experience that varies from person to person. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and allowing oneself to feel the full range of emotions that come with loss is essential. While it may be difficult, taking time to care for oneself during the grieving process and seeking support from loved ones, counselors, or support groups, if necessary, is essential.
2) How to deal with all these waves of emotions:
Grief is a natural response to loss, and it can manifest in many different ways. Whether you've lost a loved one, a job, or a significant relationship, the grieving process can be complex and overwhelming. However, there are strategies that can help you cope with grief and move forward in a healthy way.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step in dealing with grief is to acknowledge your feelings. It's okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or any other emotion that comes up. Everyone experiences grief differently, and there is no right or wrong way to feel it. Allow yourself to express your emotions in a way that feels comfortable for you. This might mean talking to a trusted friend or family member, writing in a journal, or engaging in a creative activity like painting or music. It's important to remember that grief is not a linear process. You may feel like you're making progress one day and then experience a setback the next. This is normal and part of the healing process.
Take Care of Yourself
Grieving can take a toll on your physical and emotional health. It's essential to take care of yourself during this time. Ensure you get enough rest, eat well, and exercise regularly. These things can help improve your mood and overall well-being. It's also important to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol or drug use. These things may provide temporary relief but can ultimately worsen your grief.
You don't have to go through grief alone. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional can be beneficial. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you process your emotions and feel less alone. A therapist or counselor can provide additional support and guidance through grieving. If you're having trouble finding support in your personal life, many grief support groups are available. These groups can provide a safe and supportive environment for grieving people to connect and share their experiences.
Practice Self-Compassion
Dealing with grief can be challenging, and being kind to yourself is essential during this time. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. This might mean permitting yourself to take time off work or other obligations, setting realistic expectations, and feeling your emotions without judgment.
Find Meaning in Your Loss
While losing something or someone you care about is never easy, finding meaning in your loss is possible. This might mean finding ways to honor the memory of a loved one, pursuing a new career path after losing a job, or discovering new hobbies and interests that bring you joy. Finding meaning in your loss can help you feel more connected to the world and provide a sense of purpose.
3) Choosing the spritual pathway- Cultivating traits that lessen our karmic burden:
Death is an undeniable fact of life, yet many of us go about our daily lives without considering it. This may be due to our optimistic outlook or our focus on the present moment rather than worrying about the future.
As a result, we often hold grudges and refuse to communicate with others due to our egos or taking things too personally. However, when we suddenly lose someone, we experience shock and grief as we realize they will no longer be with us.
Instead, if we accept death as an inevitable part of life, we can avoid accumulating negative energy from holding grudges and resentments. In the following section, I will present a meditation on releasing and forgiving those who have wronged us or those we may have misunderstood.
Ultimately, carrying the burden of negative energy serves no purpose in our lives. We can cultivate forgiveness, kindness, and compassion, leading to a more peaceful existence.
No matter what the case, none of us needs that burden to live by! Do We?
Maybe we can cultivate forgiveness, kindness, and compassion in our lives.
Cultivating forgiveness, kindness, and compassion in our lives can be a challenging but rewarding process. Here are some steps to help you get started:
1. Practice Self-Compassion: Forgiveness, kindness, and compassion must begin with ourselves. Acknowledge your own shortcomings and accept that you are not perfect. Be kind and gentle with yourself and treat yourself with the same understanding and patience you would extend to a loved one.
2. Let Go of Grudges and Resentment: Holding onto anger, grudges, and resentment towards others only harms us. Let go of negative feelings and focus on the present moment. Remember that forgiveness is not about excusing bad behavior but instead releasing the negative emotions that come with holding onto anger and resentment.
3. Practice Empathy: Empathy involves putting yourself in someone else's shoes and understanding their perspective. By practicing empathy, we can better understand the actions of others and develop greater compassion for their struggles and challenges.
4. Look for the Good in People: Instead of focusing on negative qualities or actions, consciously look for the good in people. Everyone has positive qualities; by recognizing them, we can develop a more positive outlook on others and the world around us.
5. Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is recognizing and appreciating the good things in our lives. We can develop a more positive and compassionate outlook by focusing on what we are thankful for. Take time each day to reflect on the things in your life that you are grateful for, no matter how small they may seem.
6. Practice Random Acts of Kindness: Random acts of kindness can make a significant difference in someone's day and can help cultivate kindness and compassion in our lives. Whether buying a coffee for a stranger, sending a thoughtful text message to a friend, or volunteering in your community, these small acts of kindness can have a powerful impact.
7. Seek Out Positive Influences: Surround yourself with people who exhibit forgiveness, kindness, and compassion in their own lives. Seek positive role models and surround yourself with a supportive community that encourages and promotes these qualities.
In conclusion, dealing with grief can be a challenging experience, but it's an essential part of the human experience. By acknowledging our emotions, seeking support from loved ones and professionals, and practicing self-care, we can navigate the grieving process and find healing in our own time. Moreover, cultivating forgiveness, kindness, and compassion can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life. By practicing empathy, letting go of grudges, seeking out positive influences, and practicing random acts of kindness, we can develop a more positive outlook and build stronger connections with the people around us. With these practices, we can find strength and resilience in even the toughest of times. We hope this article Coping with Loss: A Personal Narrative & Evidence-Based Guide to Dealing with Grief and Bereavement helps those grieving.
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